HiMyNameIsJustin

                            Happy Birthday, Princess.

(Please play this song while reading this, no, it is not me.)

Wow…exactly a year ago you read a huge wall of text that explained how I really felt about myself and us. Who knew that things would change so much in one year, it’s really unbelievable. Who knew that in a year, after all the fights, arguments, smiles, cries, laughs, and other miscellaneous events, we would end up together. I remember reading something that said, “If two people were meant to be together, they’ll find a way.” It was something like that, but you get the point. Even after 10 months of us dating, I still can’t believe you’re mine. Maybe that’s why I am still so negative about this whole thing, I know it sounds bad to say but honestly, you’re just so much better than me and you’re perfect and you’re just lovely and I think I would run out of positive adjectives to describe you. I think you really are perfect, and I don’t care what anyone else says because I don’t want you to be perfect for others, there is no need for that, I want you to be perfect only for me and I want to be only perfect for you. If that sounds selfish then I’m sorry, but love is a selfish thing. I still remember last year, I was typing in my dimly lit room, my eyes were tearing but I was smiling, and it was a real smile. It was a smile that only happens now when I am with you. I know you don’t see it too often but when it’s there, it’s really there. I really miss you. We haven’t really communicated the past two days but that just shows how much I can’t live without you. I remember saying I can live without you and I can perfectly function without you, but I don’t want that anymore. I want to perfectly function with you, I want you to be with me every minute, every second; I want to be your everything. I love how I catch myself in contradictions; I said to myself last year that I could not be your everything, and look at me now, you say it yourself, and I know you mean it. I believe you and I trust you. I love you.
I guess this can also be used as an apology also. I’m sorry for everything I put you through. I know I hurt you and it hurts me to know that I do. I really don’t mean to do it, and hopefully you know that. Please do not doubt that ever. “Take the pain out of love and the love won’t exist.” I guess it’s a true statement. I’m so sorry for everything, please forgive me.
Well this isn’t about me, well it’s about us so I guess it’s okay to include “I”. Anyway, it is your birthday, you are 18, how exciting! I really don’t know why I am nervous that you are, but I’ll put all that aside because I want you to live. You are 18 and the best years of your life are about to come. I want you to live life to fullest, I don’t even care if it is with me or not. I just want you to live, I mean preferably with me but you know what I mean. You are officially viewed as a young adult, or something like that. You should be treated like one and respected like one. And I know you will obtain the respect you deserve and want.
Is it sad that I feel like I used up all my “good” lines too early? I feel like I repeat myself whenever I try to type something cute for you, maybe I’m just not that clever but I will still try. You really are my inspiration, you are my everything and between. You are basically the main reason why I do the things I do; you are my motif and my muse. You are my music, you are the strings on my guitar, you are the sound it makes when I strum and pick, you are the sounds of my finger tips hitting the keys on my keyboard, you are the plane that is flying overhead in the night sky, you are the moon that helps me see at night, you are the sun that keeps me warm during the day, you are the drops of rain that can make any street with a street light romantic, you are my world. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So I guess I’ll wrap this up like the same way I did a year ago: Well this day is yours, and I hope you make the most out of it. And smile dammit, you deserve to. You deserve this whole world, you deserve the best because you are an amazing, silly, smart, loving, non-perfect, perfect, person - simply put: You’re an amazing human. I emphasized human because as a group of species, the human race isn’t perfect, but I think out of the 7 billion who are on this planet, only one person is perfect, and it’s you. It will always be you. I thank God that I am the only one who can see it. Thank you so much, for everything. You changed me in the best way possible. Please remember my words. I love you so much and happy birthday.

sorry if this isn’t as long as last years”